Sweet boys! The last pictures represents the important things in our house, lol. Lego Men, M&Ms, and Star Wars . . . not necessialy in that order! My sweet husband remembered from last summer that I had always wanted some windchimes. I had bought some cheap wood ones at Big Lots, but they weren’t all that great. Not only did I get wind chimes, but he MADE them for me! I love it! Thank you Babe! <3
(and if you know where I can get more Lego men, let me know!)
Smitty . . . known to most as this, but to me as Craig, my husband.
Back in mid 2009, my friend Roxanne had been telling me for a while that she wanted me to meet her husband’s old boss, Craig, and that she told him to “friend” me on myspace. Which he did, and I don’t remember if I accepted or not, but he sent me messages several times just to introduce himself, and I never replied.
One day last fall he added me on facebook, and I accepted . . . we messaged on FB, he said he couldn’t go dancing because of a broken leg, but dinner or a movie would be nice. I kindly answered but with no promises of meeting. He thought my princess leia outfit from last halloween was awesome 
Evenutally I went to his house for a movie. He answered the door with a white gotee and a walker! HA! He’d been off work a while because of his broken leg. We watched Four Christmases and chatted for a while.
Our second date, we were going to go out to dinner. Do to an odd set of circumstances, my ex was going to watch the boys at my house, so I told Craig that he didn’t need to come to the door, just to call when he got there and I’d come out. We ate dinner at Jason’s. Later he told me he was in so much pain (in his leg), but didn’t want to be goofy so he didn’t take any pain meds. sweet
Over the next few months we had dinner at one another’s house, hung out during the day (remember he was off work!), and just really got to know one another. He got to my heart through my boys. He got on the floor and played with them, craddled them in his lap and read to them. It was so sweet.
One day we were at the boy scout camp where he was doing some electrical supervising for a friend, and under his breath, as I walked away, he said “I love you” . . . totally took me off guard.
We soon decided to move further, and move my stuff into his house, since we were spending all our free time together. One night in march we went to dinner, for sushi at Fujis. I had never had sushi before, and he was so sweet to help me pick things out, and it was delicious. The next thing I knew, Craig was on his knee, broken leg and all, and asked me to be his wife. I was so shocked, so in love, and so I said yes!
We planned on a small wedding, but as weddings go, things and ideas steam-rolled and soon the idea was bigger than we wanted. So we went and got a marriage license (ok, this is like a week after he asked me), and on March 19, 2010 we drove to Hot Spring County court house and got married! We asked Roxanne and her husband to stand with us, I picked daffodils that Craig’s Mother had planted (she passed away a few years ago), and I was blessed to have his Mother’s wedding band as mine. After a sweet wedding, we had a delicious after wedding meal . . . at McDonalds! HAHA!
On the following Sunday we drove to Nebraska to meet my family. (pics soon) We took a day trip to South Dakota to Mt Rushmore and Crazy Horse. We like to say that trip was our honeymoon.
So we’ve had some adventures, and will have many more! I love him so much, and he spoils me just rotten! Not by gifts, but by his actions! I love you Craig!
I feel myself sinking back into a depression again. I don’t want to go back that way. I was feeling and doing so well, so happy and free feeling. This has nothing to do with Mike and the divorce. I have strong, deep feelings for another person, who for various reasons I cannot be with. I told him that and am trying to let him go, but with that is my heart and my happiness.
Is it silly that one’s happiness evolves being with someone? That I cannot be the happy, fun person I was without someone? Does that make me needy? I really don’t know. I feel like shuttin gmyself off from everyone, so I don’t get hurt, so I don’t have people leave me, there won’t be any feelings to be spared.
I need to find that person, strong, funny, organized (that one is really lost), beautiful Janet. I know she is in here somewhere.
The past few weeks have been an interesting time for me. Actually the last few months. I’ve learned things about myself that I can’t divulge right now, but maybe I can later. I learned what type of person I am and am not. I’ve learned, thanks to some great friends (both old and new) that I am worth something, that I am beautiful and a good person. I don’t need certain people or things or activities in my life to make me a happy person.
Things that I have blogged about (check back around the end of November and December), having a family, growing old with someone I love, and making memories of a good life have not changed. At all. I still want all that. I just know that I don’t have to be a certain way or do certain things to get that. I deserve more respect than I have asked for.
I know what it is like to be loved and to love. To have that mutual respect and feeling on all levels. I want that and will be waiting for that to come to me, for as long as it takes.
I have seen a side of Michael that I feel sorry for. I can’t go into any of it, nor do I know if I ever will. I wish him well and will never say a cross or harsh words about him in front of his boys. They love him dearly and worship him greatly. I thank him for the years we had together, and the boys that he gave me, and the opportunities he has given in my life.
I’ve decided that I want to Move it Move it! (yes I can’t get that song out of my head either). I’m going to keep moving on with my life, loving those I love and doing what I love and being with those who love me. I will give my children all the opportunities life can give. I have learned to stop yelling at them, and listening and talking with them. I have wonderful children and am cherishing every moment I have with them. I will be ok. I have learned to live and love life again. Thank you for that.
