Ok, I KID about that last pic! HA! WOOOHOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tests are DONE! I took my final today! It feels good to be D-O-N-E! Now I just have to wait for my grade!
I’m exhausted, and still have to the boys to bed and do paperwork for clinicals! I worked thursday, friday, saturday, and sunday (7pm-7am).
Thursday, yeah it was NOT fun. First we started off with a code blue. Poor lady didn’t make it. I think the worse thing is having to call family members and tell them that their loved one is being coded and they should come in. Thankfully, the son said to stop all efforts (she was a sick, sick lady). A co-worker (who was at home) called us and asked if we knew there was a tornado warning in the area. Sure enough, the house supervisor (who was there for the code) turned on a TV, and saw the warning. So we had to call a code Tango level one. Anyone hear of the tornadoes in Central Arkansas last week? Yeah, that was us. So at 11pm, we had to go in all the rooms and close the blinds. No biggie right? Twenty minutes later, a code Tango level 2 was called. This means that all patients and workers need to move out of the rooms and into the hallways. NOT fun. The family members were unhappy, the patients were unhappy, but what could we do? They had to stay out there for a couple of hours. But by the time we moved them in, it was time for morning rounds, so they did not get much sleep.
Friday night, when we were doing morning rounds, a patient was found on the floor. There was bile, stool, and who knows what else on the floor. I started CPR, but having to do it like I was doing squats, I quickly tired out in my legs. We got the client to the bed. The IV was out, so many attemts were made to put one in, but not successful. The doctor called it.
So I decided to work Saturday night, but if another code happened, I would NOT come to work on Sunday! Thankfullly, Saturday and Sunday nights were good nights.
I did have a tough desicion to make this weekend. On Friday we had a luncheon for all the people that worked at the hospital who are going to graduate in May. All the unit managers were present, including mine. We were told a little bit of what to expect after graduating. Then we were to meet with the unit managers who were over the areas we might want to work in as an RN. Well, not a well thought out plan. I had to go talk to the ER director, with my current boss sitting at the end of the table. Tough!!! Oh, and while we were eating, my old boss, who is over the float pool, said to me, “I do have night float RN spots still, it’s $4 more an hour.” Well crap!
So after much thinking, discussing (not) with my husband, asking opinions of other nurses, I think I am going to go back to the float pool. $4 an hour is a lot of money. 36 hours a week, equals almost $7500 a year! I have to go the hospital tomorrow and tell my boss! UGH!
What else? It was well into the 80s today, so I wore my swim suit out on the boat. I have some fat white sausages for legs! UGH!
I got my phone, which was my anniversary gift from Mr. Husband. It’s this one:
And I LOVE it!
I have a confession. I’m not a good SAHM. Actually past the 2nd day in a row, I am going nuts. I’m not good at doing arts and crafts with my kids, I’m not good at teaching them. I love staying at home, by myself. In a quiet house. Maybe if I didn’t work at night, and needed sleep during the day, I wouldn’t mind so much.
This last week was hard. I normally work Thursday night, have the Baby on Friday (the other two are in school and preschool), and can nap during the day, without worrying about him getting into things. However, we had a lovely “snow” day, which it never really stuck, but everything closed anyhow. So I had to manage some type of sleep with all three at home. I’ve resorted to sleeping in the hallway, while the boys are in their rooms. If I try to sleep on the couch or my room, I zonk out, and they make a mad mad mess. For example, I did fall asleep at one point on the couch, and they managed to eat an entire box of pop-tarts in 45 minutes. Next time I dosed off, I found them in my room with a bag of chips and cereal.
By the time I work Friday night, try to recover Saturday, with all three boys, I’m just worn out, have no patience for them. I’m too tired for play, too tired to cook, too tired for noise. In all this I have to find time to clean, laundry, cook, and study.
Due to monetary reasons, we have to pull the Man out of his preschool. At least for now. I have 2.5 more months of school, and since I’m doing this for the second time, I really really need to study and pass, so I have to keep my work hours down. I feel bad for him, he goes to a lovely place, he loves his friends and his teacher. I’m worried about my nerves, having both the Man and the Baby at home with me. I tend to act out of anger instead of whatever other way I should react.
I yell, spank, and sometimes just scare my kids, but I don’t mean to. I just get tired and stressed out from them. I’ve tried reading those mommy training books (super-nanny, anyone?), but frankly there’s no time! I try positive reinforcement, but am not a gusher. I don’t want to be a mom that my kids grow up to hate. I want them to have fond memories of being a kid and of me. Perhaps when I’m done with school, and the financial stress is off us, and I don’t have to study, things will be better.
I just feel like I’m always yelling at my kids. “don’t hit your brother”, “why do you have a box of cereal in your room”, “clean this up”, “go to sleep”, “who colored on the wall”, “why did you cut his hair”, “who broke my necklace”, “who pulled all this mess out”??? But I go out and see other moms, they are all so sing song like to their kids. Is it a facade? Is this how they act in public? Heck, if my kid acts up in public, they get a flick on the ear, smack on the butt, hand or whatever.
I know I can’t be the only one that feels like this. I know there are other moms who aren’t feeling their Mrs. Cleaver coming out. If any of my few readers, or those lurking have any help ideas, I’m open to any and all. I may even try to squeeze in a good parenting book.