Weenie Tales


The other day, the Dude says, “mama, my weenie hurts.”  Well, he was just rolling around on the floor so I thought maybe he, uhh, had his first big boy moment.  I ignored it.  A little bit later he said it again.  Ok, let me see it.  Yeah, that thing was soo huge and puffy!  OMG!  I call the nurse at the doctor’s office and she said to look for a bite.  Well, heck, I don’t see one.  She said if it was puffy and jelly like, it’s more than likely a bite.

So I call my friend from work.  She said that she had another friend, who had her come look at her kid’s weenie (yes, it’s an epidemic).  She said his little weenie, well wasn’t little.  That is was the size of a grown man’s limp weenie.  ACK!   So I put anti-itch cream on his weenie a couple times a day.  Of course he feels the need to tell EVERYONE that he has spots on his weenie and now it’s big (geesh).

About day three, yup, it’s huge!  Poor baby!  The tip is normal size but the rest is swollen, and he says it hurts to pee, but can still pee.  The next morning, he comes running into my room, “MAMA!  My weenie is SMALL!  My weenie is SMALL!  My weenie is SMALL!”  This of course, prompts chants from the Man, “His weenie is SMALL!  Yeah for small weenie!”   And the Baby, “SMALL weenies!  Small weenies!”

What a great story for my future daughter in laws.


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