So at 9am today, my wonderful and *ahem**cough**cough* supportive husband asked what I was going to do today.
I’m going to the gym!
Me. And Timmy.
(gives me a look)
What? You think I’m NOT going to go?
Yeah. you won’t.
Oh Yeah? Watch me.
So at 9:35 I finally got out of this lovely chair, changed into some old yoga pants. I decided to forgo the underwear, as I didn’t want to be digging them out all morning. I tossed the kid in the car seat and off we go.
Oops, I drove passed it. Damn, turn around. I go in, sign me name, and ask the girl behind the counter if my membership card is in yet.
She asks my name.
Hmmm, I don’t see it.
I think it would be ready by now.
When did you sign up?
(gives me that look) That’s really sad.
I know, thanks.
So now I have my lovely gold membership card. Go me. I drop the kid off at the child care center, which is really just a room with toys. That’s what I get for joining the cheapest gym in town.
So I trudge up the stairs to the treadmills. Goal: fast walk/run on the treadmill for ONE HOUR. I pick one in between a 50ish year old and a 60ish year old women. I start with a good incline (2) and a fast pace of 3. after 10 minutes I decide to run for 5 minutes, maybe even 10. First off, the yoga pants are about 6 years old, have been through 3 pregnancies and just aren’t made for movement. So instead of worrying about the ultimate wedgie, I am now pulling up my pants because every 5 steps my ass crack begins to show. Great.
Run, the 50 year old has been running for about 5 minutes, so this will be a peice of cake. OHhh, cake! Focus!!!! About 2 minutes into the run, my lungs are on FIRE. FIRE, BURN, FIRE. Holy crap! My rationalization was that I can walk around Wal*Mart and the Mall for hours, this would be cake. CAKE!!!!!!!!!!! Damn it. I somehow made it to five minutes. I burned 120 calories, did a mile, all in 15 minutes and 22 seconds. That’s sad. Back in the day, I ran a 7 minute mile. Damn it. Oh, yeah the 50 year old is still running. Crap.
I decided to go to the circuit room, so that I didn’t look like a complete wimp. I did some legs, some arms, couldn’t figure out the crunch machine to save my life. I went back up to the treadmill, hung onto my pants and walked at a nice slow pace for 10 minutes, watching the end of People’s Court.
I even ate grilled chicken with tomatoes, baby spinach leaves, and low-fat mozzarella for lunch, with NO dressing! Go me!
1. Wear better pants
2. Stay on the treadmill for 30 minutes
3. Bring music
4. Bring towel
oh, and I asked the lady behind the counter if there was a scale to weigh my big butt. She said it was broken. Thank goodness.