Monthly Archives: December 2008

Week in Numbers

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4 (maybe 5?)  the number of bars we went to Saturday night

1 Margarita Saturday night

1 Plate of Fries with all the good crap on it (at Chilis)

2 (maybe 3) shots of Tequila

5  (maybe 6) Coors Lights

1000 Laughs

100 Tears

138.9  pounds I am!  Yes!  The least amount I’ve weighed in 8 years!

14 number of cigarettes I’ve had this week

7 days off  in a row, then

4 number of nights I work this week

3 boys who were happy for Santa!

3 bags of trash from Christmas garbage

1 Ham baked

4 trays of cookies made

1 apple pie

1 Wii and 2 nunchucks for a good laugh

1 Super Duper Birthday

3 Years old is my Baby!

$1.27  a gallon for gas

1 time I lost my keys at Krogers

68 degrees outside now (with rain)

1 Awesome haircut and color

0 Laundry put away

2 Bottles of wine consumed

1892 Threats to Cancel Christmas

1892 Speed Dial calls to Santa

1 Giant Spider outside my window

10000000 Memories of fun with my Boys

8 IVs restarted in 2 nights

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Merry Christmas Eve!

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It’s holiday time, in case you were in a deeper hole that I am!

Saturday night was a blast!  The girls and I went to 4 or 5 different places, drank, danced and laughed!  It was  awesome!  Despite some babysitter confagle and words with my soon to be ex, it was an alright night.  The big thing from that night is that he finally let some of his feelings out (pretty much let me have it), stuff I guess he had been holding in.  It all knocked me to the ground.  I knew that night that he for certain does not love me, has not in a while, and will not again.  It’s something I had hoped for, but now know and hopefully can move on.

 

Today kind of has sucked.  All the friends that I chat with off and on thoughout the day are with their families or traveling.  I have no one here except the boys.  While people are doing family things together, I’m trying to be that family for my boys.  Ex will be here later tonight, and we’ll hang out with the boys.

 

Nothing else is going on, I’m working on me.  🙂

Saturday Night Fever

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Holla!  So yesterday I got my hair done.  No, I didn’t get a perm, but she layered it and colored it, gave me bangs and curled it in these darling curls, which, I’ll never be able to copy.  Then I was waxed in a couple of areas.  And to make it even better, my Mother in law paid for it!  🙂  Oh, and I was sent home with a bag of products!

Tonight is Girls Night Out!  The plan is to start at Chili’s (hello Presidente Margaritas), then hit every bar in a 50 mile radius.  Holla!

Off to shave my legs and get all Glammed Up.  What to wear?  The sexy dress I bought yesterday?  A sweater dress with knee high boots?  Low slung jeans with a cleavage barring top?  Hmmm……

Friday!

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First, it is 61 degrees out at 7 am.  Good way to start the day!

I’m going shopping today, I have one gift, lol.  Time to get busy!  Wish me luck, I’m taking YOU-KNOW-WHO with me.  (Lord, give me strength not to push him out of the car on I-40).

This afternoon, haircut, and possible perm.   I have this crazy hair, who can’t decide if it wants to be wavy or straight (more wavy most days), so I’m going to give it a little push, lol.

Hope y’all have a good day,

Love,

The Fucked Up Nurse

Hello, my name is Fucked Up

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hello

I just had someone tell me that I”m emotionally screwed up to the point of disturbing.  Well yeah, no shit.  That’s why I didn’t want to let anyone in.  That’s why I need me time.  I need to sort shit out.  Who knows, I may never find anyone every again, because I won’t want to let anyone in.  I really don’t fucking care.  I’m tired of hurting, having people leave me.  I’ve always have been a dominant personality and independent.  I will just become the person I once was.  Eat that bitches.

Cry Fest

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I got the call today, I didnt wanna hear
But I knew that it would come
An old, true friend of ours was talkin on the phone
She said youd found someone
And I thought of all the bad luck,
And the struggles we went through
And how I lost me and you lost you
What are these voices outside loves open door
Make us throw off our contentment
And beg for something more?
Im learning to live without you now
But I miss you sometimes
The more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought I knew, Im learning again
Ive been tryin to get down
To the heart of the matter
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think its about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you dont love me anymore
These times are so uncertain
Theres a yearning undefined
And people filled with rage
We all need a little tenderness
How can love survive in such a graceless age?
The trust and self-assurance that lead to happiness
Theyre the very things – we kill I guess
Pride and competition
Cannot fill these empty arms
And the work I put between us
You know it doesnt keep me warm
Im learning to live without you now
But I miss you, baby
And the more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought Id figured out
I have to learn again
Ive been trying to get down
To the heart of the matter
But everything changes
And my friends seem to scatter
But I think its about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you dont love me anymore
There are people in your life whove come and gone
They let you down you know they hurt your pride
You better put it all behind you baby; life goes on
You keep carryin that anger; itll eat you up inside, baby
Ive been trying to get down
To the heart of the matter
But my will gets weak
And my thought seem to scatter
But I think its about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you dont love me
Ive been tryin to get down
To the heart of the matter
Because the flesh will get weak
And the ashes will scatter
So Im thinkin about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you dont love me
Forgiveness
Forgiveness – baby
Forgiveness
Forgiveness
Forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, you dont love me anymore