The past few weeks have been an interesting time for me. Actually the last few months. I’ve learned things about myself that I can’t divulge right now, but maybe I can later. I learned what type of person I am and am not. I’ve learned, thanks to some great friends (both old and new) that I am worth something, that I am beautiful and a good person. I don’t need certain people or things or activities in my life to make me a happy person.
Things that I have blogged about (check back around the end of November and December), having a family, growing old with someone I love, and making memories of a good life have not changed. At all. I still want all that. I just know that I don’t have to be a certain way or do certain things to get that. I deserve more respect than I have asked for.
I know what it is like to be loved and to love. To have that mutual respect and feeling on all levels. I want that and will be waiting for that to come to me, for as long as it takes.
I have seen a side of Michael that I feel sorry for. I can’t go into any of it, nor do I know if I ever will. I wish him well and will never say a cross or harsh words about him in front of his boys. They love him dearly and worship him greatly. I thank him for the years we had together, and the boys that he gave me, and the opportunities he has given in my life.
I’ve decided that I want to Move it Move it! (yes I can’t get that song out of my head either). I’m going to keep moving on with my life, loving those I love and doing what I love and being with those who love me. I will give my children all the opportunities life can give. I have learned to stop yelling at them, and listening and talking with them. I have wonderful children and am cherishing every moment I have with them. I will be ok. I have learned to live and love life again. Thank you for that.