I feel myself sinking back into a depression again. I don’t want to go back that way. I was feeling and doing so well, so happy and free feeling. This has nothing to do with Mike and the divorce. I have strong, deep feelings for another person, who for various reasons I cannot be with. I told him that and am trying to let him go, but with that is my heart and my happiness.
Is it silly that one’s happiness evolves being with someone? That I cannot be the happy, fun person I was without someone? Does that make me needy? I really don’t know. I feel like shuttin gmyself off from everyone, so I don’t get hurt, so I don’t have people leave me, there won’t be any feelings to be spared.
I need to find that person, strong, funny, organized (that one is really lost), beautiful Janet. I know she is in here somewhere.