Monthly Archives: June 2009

I have an addiction

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well, many in fact.  But shoes!  Ack!  I’ll admit that I made the pic down below the screen saver for my computer.  I need therapy!!!

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I. Need. Shoes. Stat!!!

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I have a massive urge to get a new pair of hot high heels!  If any of you want to help, I wear a size 9.5 (yeah, big feet).  I love crazy shoes!  Thanks!

I feel like in the last couple of weeks that I’ve calmed down.  I got that wild streak out of me that I’ve been doing for the last few months.  Don’t think I still don’t want to go out and have fun, cause, well if you KNOW me, I love having a blast and laughing.  But sometimes laying on your kitchen floor and laughing with your best friend is just even more fun that going out!

I know what I want in life, for my boys, for me personally as career goals, love life needs, and who I want to be, and what kind of person I want to be with.  And I won’t settle for less.  I deserve it.  I sure damn do.  And I’ll wait forever until I can get what I want!  (hello spoiled brat!)

My boys have been horrible lately.  I guess the divorce is effecting (affecting?) them, and they are showing out because of it.  I had Don put locks on my pantry door so they stop getting all the food out.  Yeah, like dumping a box of pancake mix, squeezing out all the jelly, eating all the cereal, etc .  They already cost me a bundle in groceries, but when I keep having to re-buy everything, then that adds up! 

I really reached a low point this week with them, I had to call friends to come over and help, and thankfully they rushed right over (love ya Heather and Don!) to help.  I guess I’ll go to the book store and find a parenting/divorce book for some advice.  Do any of you have any advice?  I’ll take all that I can get!

Never found my stolen stuff, except the boating tube was in the field next to me, but that’s not mine, so I really don’t care about that.  I had someone come out and mow my yard, and it looks so much nicer.  I may have him come out and do the back and trim up some more stuff this week, since I don’t have the tools to do it now.  Although I did buy a weedeater!  And a drill!  LOL!

I really want to go see my family, I’m hoping they’ll meet me in Omaha or Witchita again, it makes it easier to drive 8 hours rather than 19!!!

Other than that, I’ve been doing ok.  Have had some dissappointments, but am keeping my head up and heart full of hope.  That’s all I can do.  🙂

Wednesday

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It’s HUMP day!

I’m having a bad morning so far.  And a not so great last week or so.  Darren and I are no longer seeing one another, on his request.  It really hurt my feelings, more than I expected.  So I’ve been dealing with that.  I’m really tired of being hurt.  Tired of putting myself out there and being shut down.  Really tired of it.

I’ve had the boys all day, pretty much everyday, which has been hard.  They are constantly in my things.  I have a cedar chest my uncle made me for high school graduation, and they got into it and made a mess.  It’s full of stuff from my childhood, high school, the boys’ baby stuff.  Lots of my little trinkets and stuff are torn up.  It’s silly I know, but those things are a part of me, and it really made me mad.

I really don’t have much to say, I’m trying to stay out of a funk/depression type mood, but it’s hard.  I’ve been out to run a few times, which helps, mainly because I focus on not getting hit by cars rather than all the other things in my life.

Last night I posted a bunch of old pics from church camps and youth rallies from the 1990s (on facebook), and it was fun laughing at them and our clothing attire with old friends.

I have a $250 water bill!  ACK!  Which mine is normally around $40.  And even during this month period, we were camping for a week!  So the water peeps are coming out to see if there is a leak, and if so, I have to pay to fix it.  So I either have to fix a leak, or pay the bill.  Nice, real nice.

I still have to get a new lawn mower, I now officially live in a jungle.  UGH.

Maybe I really should move out of this house and let him have it.  Every month I keep having to put money out for stuff.  And I have an entire list of things that need to be done (weatherstripping on the door, paint, etc), but can’t afford to do it because I’m having to get a new water heater, or a lawn mower.  UGH.

Mike is coming to get the boys, so I actually get a “day” off.  Wow.  I’m going to see my dear friend Chastity, who was in a bad accident, spent a few days in ICU.  She has a long road to recovery still.  Please pray for her and her family.  Heather and I are going to Target and who knows what tonight.

I’m wanting to take the boys to the beach in August, before school starts.  I’ve been looking at places to stay in gulf shores, destin, etc.  Any suggestions?

I’m off to try to make my day better!  I forsee it starting with a starbucks!

1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4 (love this song!)

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1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4

Give me more lovin’ than I’ve ever had
Make it all better when I’m feelin’ sad
Tell me that I’m special even when I know I’m not

Make me feel good when I hurt so bad
Barely gettin’ mad, I’m so glad I found you
I love bein’ around you
You make it easy, it’s as easy as 1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4

There’s only one thing to do
Three words for you I love you
There’s only one way to say
Those three words and that’s what I’ll do, I love you

Give me more lovin’ from the very start
Piece me back together when I fall apart
Tell me things you never even tell your closest friends

Make me feel good when I hurt so bad
Best that I’ve had, I’m so glad that I found you
I love bein’ around you
You make it easy, it’s as easy as 1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4

There’s only one thing to do
Three words for you I love you
There’s only one way to say
Those three words and that’s what I’ll do, I love you
I love you

You make it easy, it’s easy as 1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4

There’s only one thing to do
Three words for you I love you
There’s only one way to say
Those three words and that’s what I’ll do, I love you
I love you

1, 2, 3, 4
I love you
I love you

Oh heck

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During the last week Brennen has learned how to get online, smartASS!  Not only has he learned to get online, but he has learned how to get online to play games, grrr!  The other morning, I was in my bed, talking on the phone (imagine that) . . . .

Brennen (comes into my room):  Mama, what’s our address?

Mama:  It’s 123 YaKnowWhere Avenue

Brennen:  Ok, thanks Mama (exits room)

(I keep chattin’)

Few minutes later:

Brennen (back in my room):  Mama, what’s our address line TWO?

Mama (jumping up out of bed):  Oh heck!  Brennen what are you doing??

Brennen:  Buying DS games!