Yes, I’m married silly, But before I tell you about me and Craig, I want to tell you about dating. Well one specific date that is. Hehe . . . this is good.
So last year sometime I signed up for one of those online dating sites. Had some hits, many from guys far away, too far for me. Some were meat-heads, lol, really. Some looked like they belonged on Jersey Shore (never seen that show, but I think it fits). Met a few nice guys and had some great communication, but just never got together . . . except for one. Geesh, this is good. . .
So back in October I met, errrr, hmmm . . . let’s call him Egghead . . . online . . . both of us liked the other’s profile (by the way, I never initiated any communication, just sat back and let the dudes make the move), and he called me one day on his way to the west coast. He sounded nice, has a great job, a home, etc. All good stuff. So we agreed to get together when we got back.
We decided to meet in Little Rock one night for drinks and a band, and to meet up with some of his friends. Oh boy, the friend card just in case it didn’t work out. So on the way there I tell him I have a Honda accord, and he tells me he has a Lexus, and he loves luxury cars, and he traded his Jag for this Lexus and blah blah blah . . . . yeah it’s gonna be good.
We meet at West End, he comes up and doesn’t really look like his picture. He’s shorter that I expected (a wee bit taller than me in my heels), a wee bit pot-bellied-ier that his pictures had shown. And his clothing. Hmmm. He’s older than me, almost 40. But he dressed like a 20-year-old rock star. Not a cool look for a pot-bellied, balding almost 40 something year old. Oh well . . .
So we walk in, and almost everyone we pass Egghead acknowledges (may I say that one of his two jobs is in the public eye, a position that he gets voted in for), “Hey! how’s it going, yeah yeah!” And all those people he acknowledged had that look, “O.M.G not THIS guy again!” And MY thought, “O.M.G. I’m with THAT guy.”
He asks this guy who is paying if we can have his table, and he says sure. We sit down with him and Egghead says he likes the Dude’s POLO brand shirt. The dude says thanks and leaves. Egghead starts chatting about clothing, about how he shops here and there, buys such and such brands, rock n republic and seven for mankind, and all those expensive clothing that I’ve only ever seen online. He compliments me and says I have great style and where do I shop. Hmmm . . . Target . . . Wal-Mart . . . Some resale shops . . . yeah that got me a look hehe. Love it. Then he proceeds about my glasses and how awesome they are, they must be Gucci, or Polo, or something. ” Really, I don’t know,” I say. “Awww come on,” says Egghead, “look for me!” Urgh. Ok, I’m blind! And in a dimmed bar it’s hard to see, but I take them off anyways. “It says Hilary Duff,” I said, laughing inside. Egghead admits he has never heard of her. 🙂 hehe After a few more drinks and chit-chat, we leaves, and he kindly pays.
The next stop is the River Market to go see a band play. We agree to take the Lexus downtown. I’ll admit, it was a very nice car. It was one of the big 4 door fancy Lexus kinds. But what was funny is that he kept saying, My Lexus does this, or My Lexus has that . . . and my reply was, oh ok. My Honda has/does that too. Geesh. I guess he really thought that Lexus was the only peeps that made leather seats or a sunroof! As we get down to the Rivermarket, we realize that on a Friday night parking is going to be an issue. Now for those of you who aren’t familiar, the Rivermarket is a two lane road, with parking on both sides, and is full of great bars and restaurants, along with many other typical downtown stuff. Most normal people would pay a few bucks and park in a paid lot. Apparently, an off Rivermarket road parking lot was not good enough for the Lexus.
By this time, Egghead is showing off his coolness. By coolness I mean, O.M.G I wish I had a bag to put on my head to hide coolness. Yes. He had to show me his sweet sound system. And by that I mean that he had to play Kid Rock at sound volume 40. And also by that I mean at the same time as Kid Rock, Egghead had all the windows down. And I also mean by coolness he was fist pumping. And head throwing. Yes, I wish I had a bag.
So we continue to fist pump for 20 minutes. YES. TWENTY minutes of driving up and down a 5 block area, passing that parking lot many times. He even tried at one point to share a spot with a Vespa, which the full size Lexus, of course wouldn’t fit. Finally a spot opens up. Only it’s on the opposite side of the road we are on. Egghead says it’s destiny for us to have that spot. So he begins to turn around in the narrow two lane road. And finally, with a 27 point turn, that destined spot it ours! Woot! Really wishing for a bag.
We go in, and the bar is kinda full. Several groups of people at the tables. Oh, we saw a guy walking in with us, and Egghead knew him. Guy was a photographer and relative a band member. We go sit at a table right up front, that had a “reserved” sign on it. The waitress comes up and tells us that the tables right there were saved for band friends and family. Of course that’s not good enough, so Egghead runs to the back and gets the ok from photographer man for us to sit there. That’s cool. I hate trying to get a table.
So as the band starts, I meet some of Eggheads friends, I relax a bit. Until the fist pumping starts. And yelling “I love Rock and Roll!!!!!!!!” Wow. nice. The band is awesome, and I have a great time dancing with some of Eggheads friends. By this time he is getting very tipsy. At one point I’m dancing and I see his friend look at me, and then at my feet behind me. I look back and Egghead is trying to drop it like it’s hot on me, but in a white boy kind of way. yikes. And at one point, he was dirty dancing with a girl, that he claims that I look like (not), who was packed into a tight tight yellow tube dress, minus the boobs. Which she opted to leave out. Nice. And at several moments, we would see him passed out at our special table. lol.
If I remember he slept through the intermission, and was revived for the second part. In which the band leader shouted out, “Vote for Egghead in the blah blah blah elections!” Ok, he didn’t say Egghead, but you get it. And Egghead shouted back, “I love you! I love rock and roll!” And at this point he picked me up by my waist and bounced me up and down, shouting. I don’t remember what he was shouting, as I was too busy trying to get down and find a bag. After several slaps by me and me screaming to put me down he did. And got another drink.
He says he doesn’t really drink, and actually never drank until 6 years before that when he was 32. Wow. And now he is on his 6 or 7th vodka and red bull. Wow. I think I had a total of 2 beers there, so I was okie dokie.
So more dancing, more band, more having fun. That is me having fun with his friends, lol. All of the sudden I am once again lifted into the air, yes by Egghead. And feel this immense pain in my back. Pain? yes. Oh, yes, that would be Egghad biting my back. Yes biting. With his teeth. wow. Yes he freaking bit me! I walk over to the table in total shock, he follows me, tries to reach for a glass and ends up knocking it on the floor, shattering, and in the same movement tries to kiss me. And of course by kiss, I mean toungue hanging out, flopping around. Ewww. I push him away and tell him I need to pick up the glass (I really did, there many girlies in flip-flops and open shoes). He says, “hit me, I like it hard, hit me. HIT ME !!!!!!!!!!!!!” O.M.G. wow. Thankfully, the band was done, and it was time to go. *shaking off shock* I exchanged numbers with his friends and promise them that I am driving.
As we walk to the car, we pass a little building that the police have for there little ride on thingys and bikes. And there on the floor in the building the police have a black man, on his belly, hands cuffed behind his back. And Egghead decides that he must save this man, that this man is a voter and he must take up for him. Geesh. Drunk ass. The police told him to keep on walking, and thus we did, with me dragging him . . .
We get in the Lexus, and I drive. He tells me not to hesitate, because that is what the cops look for. And at each light he tells me when to go and not to go. As we merged onto 630, I asked him if his Lexus has a V8. “I think so.” hmmm, have you ever taken it out wide and fast? “HUH?” And with that I double shifted and took it to over 100, all with him screaming like a girl. A little weenie girl. LMAO. It was awesome.
I pulled up into the parking lot, and got into my car. No hugs or kisses, no promises of calling from me. He has promised that he will go into West End and have some coffee. As I get in my car, I roll down the window and say, “Hey, your Lexus has factory rims, my Honda doesn’t.” And drive off. Classic.
I must say that I called my little Sis in Nebraska to tell her of my night, and stop at a gas station to get some hot chocolate. The old lady cashier looks at me when she hears about a “bite” and I ask her to look at my back. And an hour later I still had a red mark. Actually for a week I had a bruise.
I only talked to him maybe once or twice, and only answered my phone cause I was tipsy. He claims he didn’t know what he did, he had drunk-nesia. Hehe, yes I made up that word.
I’ve become good friends with Jennifer, Egghead’s friend. And just love her and her Hubby. And have met several other people through them, and love to get together with all of them. We’ve even been to the band several times, and even Craig and I went to see them on St Patricks day.
I just crack up at this story, and thank God everyday I don’t have to date!